Pointing at the crazies...

I will no longer be writing in this blog. My new one is: http://www.upsaid.com/miss_leafs/ so check that one from now on :)

So I'm blogging once again.

Yaaaaay, and the world rejoiced!! *groans*

I've had a pretty shitty couple of days due to friends, people who I once considered friends, family, people who I once considered as close as family, and a bunch of other fun stuff I'd rather not go into. Basically, it's been a bitch. But, oh well, shit happens.

I worked lots last week. Close to forty hours. This week will be busy also. Not that I'm complaining. I need the money. Sentence fragments rule.

I also found another job, which I will work every single Saturday for the rest of my life *dun dun dun*. Okay, well maybe not so much, but I won't have any Saturday life between 10-6pm for a very long time to come. It's a job at Ilinca's photo place. She's moving away to go to Mac so I'm stealing it from her..teehee. I can't wait to just sit around and be paid for it...though, I hear it might involve some actual work. What could be worse than Basics, my friends? Not a whole fucking lot. I still gotta tell Mukesh...I'm so tired of cleaning shelves all day.

So I was forced to go "back to school" shopping today. As if I'm supposed to get all giddy and excited and just totally wet the Business Depot floors the moment I see those waaaay cool flexible binders. My god, I've had more fun shoveling horse shit back when I went to visit my Wujek Marjan. What is that gets people so excited about going back to school? I'll never know. EVER. If you know, tell me so I can prove you wrong. Anyways, you'd think that BD was going out of business or something and it was everyone's last chance EVER to get those super-cool glow-in-the-dark locker mirrors. Everyone around there is in such a hurry to grab as much shit as they can...some fill up to two carts with PAPER..dorks. It's like the Y2K of school supplies. Or a Star Treck convention. Geeks.

It did make me realize how close school actually is. I never really thought about it but wow. Just days away. No more sleeping in, no more late nights, no more being a total lazy ass...

...*chuckles*..or something.

I'm unimpressed with my summer, though. I've done none of the things I planned on doing. Saving up money? Not so much. Travelling around? No further than Parry Sound. Getting a tan? Slight one, already fading. Reading? Not one book. Writing? Not one article. Getting certain people the hell out of my life? Still around. (hehe..yeah, I know, how sweet of me)...

So, yeah. Hopefully I'll be able to drive next summer which will make things a bit easier to accomplish. (I'm not sure if that sentence makes sentence. I'm sleepy, fuck off..)

The long weekend needs to be awesome so that I can end this one off on a good note, at least. Who's still up for Wasaga? Is that still on or has it fallen to shit just like everything else?

UGH has a bunch of stuff planned for frosh week. I don't remember most of it but, again, I'm kinda unimpressed. Dying my socks isn't exactly my idea of a good ol' time but whatever, some bright-asses thought of it. I won't be going to all the events..due to work and/or the gayness factor. I'll make appearances here and there, mostly where booze is applicable. Wonderland sounded good to me since I spent a million dollars on my pass and have only been on the rides once...but turns out that I'll have to pay $25 to go regardless. Fuck that. I'm not paying twice for something. What do I look like, a goddamn money tree? I work at FOOD BASICS. Need I say more.?.

I was called a feminist once again today. My talk with Adam went something like this:

adam: (telling me about how some woman he worked with had to be transferred to another store)
me: why?
adam: she got into a fight with one of the guys at the store
me: so why did SHE have to go?
adam: what do u mean, why?
me: two people fight, so why is the WOMAN that automatically gets the boot? what the fuck? it was an argument. both people take part. plus, the man probably started it..
adam: kash, he was the store manager
me: ohhhh...
adam: you're such a feminist
me: oh, go to hell

Sadly, this was one of the better conversations I had today. I also went driving with the pops. Making sharp turns at 70 is no good? Now you tell me...

EVERYONE I drive with tells me that I start out fine and gradually become worse and worse the more time I spend driving...I become "too confident" and "stop focusing". Argh, I just become tired of driving at speed limit. Is that so wrong?

I still want to steal that giraffe.

And find Jainam Gore.

"I don't know what I was thinking"
"I know I don't deserve you, but.."
"Do you ever think about me?"
"Will you ever tell me you love me?"
"I've changed, Kash."
"I miss your voice. Please call"
"Oh, just fucking forget it then.."
"Do you remember when..?"
"It made me think of you"
"That's just ridiculous"
"Never again"
"Always"
"I know, but it's been a while"
"Everyone deserves a second chance, Kasia."
"Will you just fucking grow up?"
"I love you"
"I hate you"

...these are a few of my favorite things.

Ah, fucker.

current mood: bitchy
current music: sweater song
current world domination scheme: involves vaseline

Dear fucking lord..there just aren't enough words.

PAPER BAGS & PANTYHOSE MAKE GOOD GIFT IDEAS.

Have you ever felt torn between a *need* to do something and a desire to completely ignore it?

Hi, my name is Kasia, and I suffer from sleepalitus.

Sleepalitus is a rare disease found in few VERY COOL, but ultimately demented, people all over Northern America and/or Little Poland. It occurs when an individual is deprived of sleep for long periods of time, due to causes such as stress, MSN, social outings, telephone calls, food and the Bananas in Pajamas. The main symptoms of sleepalitus are yawning, drinking water (esp. the *special* kind) and bitching about sleepalitus itself.

The cure for sleepalitus is...sleep. However, affected parties are usually too tired/grouchy/STUPID to realize this and go to bed. Instead, they stay up and waste valuable sleeping time.

Research shows that those suffering from sleepalitus miss out on some crucial beauty sleeping and are extremely ugly facts. The following is a sample report done by our lab monkies following the May24 weekend:

F A M E by spazyspag
Name:
Youre famous for:	Being ugly
You get famous:	April 9, 2007
You make $$ per/year:	$683,138,539,511,267
Do people like you?	Everyone hates you
Dead/Alive:	No one knows
Created with quill18's MemeGen!

I love these online quizzy things. Yeah, fuck you too.

Anyways, today was kind of slow. So slow, in fact, that I will not even bother to write about it. Argh. Slow.

Chatting with Abi, who's upset that I want to steal a giraffe now after I made her carry the elephant on her back. She says it attacked her. I told her that she's small and brown--the elephant probably thought she was a peanut. Then we talked about the Peanut guy with the hat and the cane..about how he owes me money..stupid peanut pimps always rip me off...she suggested I just kick him in the nuts.

I hate peanuts.
Goodnight.

NOT SO SATISFIED WITH THE ZOO EMPLOYEES.

So I went to the zoo yesterday (insert YOU getting jealous HERE). Oooooh. Awwwwww. A bunch of animals in cages. Better yet, a bunch of lazy-assed animals sleeping in the shadey spots of their cages--the ones as far away from the viewing area as possible.

"Look ma. A sleeping ball of something orange a kilometer away!! Take a picture!! Take a picture!"

Seriously, I know it's hot. But I paid to see the goddamn tigers and cheetahs. They're sleeping on the job. All I'm saying is that if you can't handle the responsibility of being in the Toronto Zoo, then you shouldn't be there. They should have someone who periodically walks around with a big stick and gives little Babe or Pooh a *wake-up call*. (muahaha...)

Some animals did pull their shit together and perform. A mom monkey and a baby monkey sat around some branches, feeding each other. It was cute, until too many people came and the mother monkey climbed to the top of a shack with a blanket and covered herself with it so that nobody could see her anymore. The baby followed and got under the blanket too. Goddamn rude animals. You're fired!!!

The Jackie Chan monkies were crazy. They were hopping all around their cages, clinging to the top, sides, whatever, with their tails. It was like a fifth arm/leg. Pretty cool to see. Those things were working overtime, man!! That's what I'm taking about.

The kangaroos were awesome. I mean, hi, they have a pouch!! Nothing beats a pouch. NOTHING.

Except a long neck. The giraffes were, by far, my favorite animals there. I probably like them because (a) they weren't off in the corner sleeping and (b) they're just so damn huge. Very pretty. So tall and lanky. I think that, if the animals of the zoo had magazines, the giraffe would be the "model" type figure that all the other animals want to immitate...it is the giraffe, in fact, which causes many animals extinctions, as the fuckers refuse to eat because they want her body.

I've decided that I want my very own pet giraffe. I've also decided that I'd like to acquire this pet giraffe by stealing it from the Toronto Zoo. I mean, who would notice, really?

Just think about this: The blackout happens while I'm at the zoo. Perfect time to open the cages, no? Let the animals run wild (well, the ones who aren't SLEEPING!! those lazy bastards!). While all the workers try to control the chaos, I run off with my giraffe.

And you said I wasn't bright.

I do have a plan B, as any zoo criminal should. If there is no blackout, I put Martin up as distraction (or BAIT, whatever) while I go and loot the giraffe.

I just don't see how this plan could fail. It's fool proof.

On a more demented note, I saw Ethan at the zoo. Of all places. Ironically, by the naked mole rat exhibit. I couldn't pick him out at first, he blend in so well. Blah. He does have nicer teeth, tho.

So, in general, I did have a pretty good time. It was just a little disappointing that I saw more animals at Harvey's than at the actual zoo (tteeheee..mmmmmmmmmmm)

how i'm currently feeling: spiffy
current music: nothing
plans for today: work, niki's annual bbq

Btw, no tigers and/or polar bears were hurt in the making of this blog. *wink*

So, this time I have a REAL reason to write.

No, I’m not getting paid.

No, I’m not going to better anyone’s life.

The power’s out.

And, while the average Joe sits around with candles in his dark room, I decided to blog. How is this possible, you ask? How can I, a girl who wakes up her family in the middle of the night because the blue light fashing on her computer scares her, manage to operate ..no, not just operate, BLOG!!!!…during a hydro blowout?

I wish I could say that I’m some sort of government agent secretly trained for this kinda stuff…that I lead a secret life of black suits and briefcase filled with James Bond-type gadgets. Or, at the very least, that I’m a hacker…that I have SOME sort of computer literacy.

Nah, I’ve just got a laptop..which has about an hour on it before it dies. I’m writing in a regular word program and plan on posting this on my blog at a later date (when I’m NOT sitting on the living room couch, with only a scented candle and Justin Timberlake to accompany my ass). *sings* lalallaaa…I kinda noticed something one night..you’ve got a fuck face…*hummmmmlalalaa*…I just wanna love you baby…

*gag* hehehe…

(Okay, so I quit writing this blog...and it's now Friday as I continue to write it..muahaha...)

Nevermind writing about the blackout. It's not exciting anymore. The power's back up...weeeeee....I've been telling people that the chickens in the nylons are responsible for this whole mess but nobody believes me.

You just wait!!!

Anyways, in a pathetic attempt to change the subject...I just watched Phone Booth. It was a good movie, considering that they only needed four actors and a very simple setting to film it. Not gonna win any Oscars, but it killed some much-needed-to-be-killed time.

On a brighter note, today was one of those days I will never remember. No, not because of ridiculous amounts of consumed alcohol (see: Wednesday night!!!! teehee), but because it was sooo damn slow. And hot. I've been acting like a gay-ass all day, saying stuff like "Is it hot in here or is it just me?" to random strangers...it just amuses me the way serious people look at me when I say this kind of stuff: "What fucking planet did you come from?" and, sometimes, "I want the address". Heh. Back off, get your own sandwich!!!

I went to the doctors and the grocery store. How very VERY exciting. I'm so excited, I can hardly contain myself. *looks around, noticing that nobody's laughing*..uhhh..umm...is it hot in here or..?

I'm DONE driving school. Well, the in-class section of it which was completely fucking POINTLESS. 25 hours of bullshit squeezed into four days, each beginning at 9am. LOVELY. Just lovely.

Besides some dude with a wife, Jess and I were the oldest ones there. Pathetic? Maybe. But I made myself feel better every time I pictured one of those assholes standing outside the LCBO asking people my age to buy em beer. Muahahhaaa...

Okay, the people were actually alright. The instructor, however, he had problems. He kept saying "well DUH", probably trying to make himself feel all young & hip, so my notebook became a chart noting how many times he'd say this each day. One checkmark for each time grandpa got to feel like a homie. Actually, my notebook is more a piece of art than anything I should use when learning to drive. It's full of doodles and sketches and gay little cartoons that I made while listening to Michael's talks and watching gay-assed 1980's movies which were, most likely, stolen from Young Driver's. (The said "brought to you by Young Drivers" at the beginning, so that would be my educated guess).

The book is hilarious, I started to write in my own driving tips, like:

"Don't forget to give the asshole the finger"
and "Road Rage is encouraged"
and "Ten ways to tailgate with success"

All I needed to complete it, really, was "Dog. The other white meat".

Okay, I'm off to be productive *chuckles*

current mood: exhausted/melting
current music: OLP
current lipgloss of choice: the body shop's mandarin "born lippy" mmmmm

:::METHYLDIBROMO:::

So I feel like writing--something, anything--just writing. So here goes...

Goddamnit, I'm tired but not sleepy. Is that even possible? *yawns* Once again, I find myself blogging.

Don't really have much to say about my weekend. It wasn't anything special...I spent yesterday cleaning shelves at work. Did all the narcotics, the little diabetic section, the eye section, and half of the advil/tylenol/rubs/sleeping section. Weeeee!! Now, don't too excited folks, it's not as fun as it sounds. I spent a lot of time just joking around with Mukesh and telling stories. I found a little black-and-white passport-type little picture of some woman on the floor by the cash counter. I guess it fell out of a customer's wallet or something...Now, I don't mean to be mean or anything, but this chick is HIDEOUS. I swear to God, like...she wasn't just beaten with ONE ugly stick..it looked like an entire ugly stick hittin' Olympic team came over and did a number on this one. So, anyway, my first instinct was to, OF COURSE, bring it to Mukesh and let him know that I've found a picture of his girlfriend. He went along with it, saying that he's so happy I located it, he's been looking all over the place for it, and he'll do anything to pay me back...well, except giving me a raise. It was a good ol' time...

He's a good boss. By "good", I mean that he's fun to work with cause he's funny and odd like the rest of us...not like some serious stuck-up pharmacist with a stick up his ass. It's nice. I was laughing about it, cause I realized that he knows WAAAAAY more about my personal life than even my parents do. I mean, he knows all about Patrick and Ethan and Justin and car crashing and throwing up on guys on buses and dumb stalked guys and people going to jail and the hospital and cheating sluts and dirty old men and....wow. That's actually a lot of shit..

I wonder how I'll do at my next job. Cause, for now, I'm used to a laid-back environment...haha..well, as laid back as you can get working child-labour hours and wage.

ANYWAYS, I got home last night, ate a little, went online a little, and then decided to go out with Adam. We went to Tucker's for a little bit..but since I already ate at home, all I felt like was booze. Check. Didn't stay there long because it was so damn crowded and well...it was kinda getting annoying, especially with the fuckers beside us celebrating some 11 year old kid's birthday. They were all wearing little giraffe paper hats..(I can't lie, I wanted one!!!)...but their conversation and loud-ass talking were annoying. So, we left without paying.

Ok. We paid. *smirks*

Went to Adam's house for a bit. When I say this, many things are a clear given. 1) Ethan wasn't home. 2) James wasn't home. 3) NOTHING HAPPENED. Got it? Anyway, we watched Just Married with that girl from 8 Mile and that guy who's pimping Demi Moore. It was one of those "rent once and never watch again" kind of movies, though some parts did have me laughing out loud. It was a cute movie...I'm sure Blockbuser will be selling it in their CLEARANCE section in about a month or two.

Today was even more boring.

I woke up and went to Church with the parents and the Martino'. I've noticed that I don't even bother tuning into the mass anymore...I lean back in the seat, put my feet out, cross my hands, and fill my mind with other boring--yet more interesting than mass--things. Like the cuticles around my nails or the tint of the ceiling..is it white or gray? How many women as oppsed to men in the choir? Am I working tomorrow? Will The Simpsons be on tonight?..Ocassionaly, these thoughts are interrupted by routine exercise--stand, sit, kneel, shake hands--and then back to Who killed Mr. Burns? it is.

Had the pleasure of seeing Adam M. after mass (different Adam). He hasn't changed much in the last little bit...still arrogant and pulling that "toughass" look. I find it incredibly amusing how different he is in front of my parents tho..little angel and all...*gags* Whatever. He's got a tail.

And I bet it's not that big anyways.

ANYWAYS.

Went to Ikea. Bunch of cute little furniture. Bought a cord for the lamp I bought back in November which has not been istalled because..well..it was missing the cord. Now it's in. Wooohoooo. Hooo' fucking 'ray!

I spent the rest of the day with my parents. Oh, it was lovely.

My brother is a dumbass. I mean, really, how did this kid get around grades 2-11? He wants to apply to Rona but the application form has a few "skill testing" questions. He needed my help figuring out what 118divided by 8 was...and how to subtract two long numbers. SUBTRACT. TWO NUMBERS. Based on these events, I can only draw two conclusions:

1. Dumbass. Really.
2. Don't trust the people at Rona to measure, cut, or cash anything in for you. SUBTRACTING. TWO NUMBERS.

Hmmm...sohum..what else do I have to say? Well, nothing really. If you've actually read this entire blog, I command you for your...well, no, you have no life. And that, my friend, makes two of us :)

Damn you Blogger!!

I spent such a long time yesterday writing out my Little Homie story and it wouldn't let me post it PLUS it didn't save so away it went...

Now I don't care enough to re-write it all with the witty comments and bullshit so here goes the Coles Notes version:

Little Homie tries to pick me up
I ignore Little Homie because, well, he's a Little Homie..and he looks like he's in grade eight.
I'm sitting, waiting for my bus at SQ1 when Little Homie comes up behind me and licks my ear.
I slap LH.
In order to get justice for my own ear being violated, I grab and twist his, and hold him by it while I yell like his mother.
Little HOmie's "crew": "OHHHHH! DISSSSSS!"
Scene is made. People are lookin'.
Security guy comes over, "Is there a problem here?"
LH: "No sir! No sir! We're leaving sir! Come on guys!"
Little Homie plus his "boys" leave with tail between legs.
Security guy: "Daaaamn! Want my job?"
Got to beat up a child AND was offered a job all in the same day.
Isn't life splendid?
.

:::YOUR CHILDREN ARE UGLY!:::

Am I the only person on the fucking planet who thinks that relationships are overestimated?
Okay, I don't think that.
Stopped by SQ1 before work today, briefly.
Mauled by happy-go-lucky couples--holding hands, laughing, tickling my gag reflex to death--like a Sweet Valley High episode *shivers*
It was like walking on Noah's fucking Arc...two-by-two they go. Happy fuckers.

*sigh*

So, fine, lemme prove you right:

I DO have feelings for him.
Which is pointless now.
And always has been, really.
Cause I have my standards
And he's got HER.

Nice girls finish last? Hah.

HOLY SHIT!!!!

So, I was diggin' thorugh my closet today and found *drumroll* my DIARY from grade SEVEN. It's been so long..I forgot I had one, or that I still had it on me. So, being the nosey fucker that I am, I wanted to read it and laugh at myself. I had to break the lock open since I couldn't find the key (shit, it's that easy, eh? muahaa..)..and reading this thing has completely made my day. And, so, I've decided to post a bunch of the shit I had in there...take a look at what a loser I was..it's GREAT! (typing it out word-for-word for full effect :))

Tuesday, November 11, 1997

"Today was overall a pretty fun day. The only thing that went wrong was Rhian. She never hangs around us- she's always with Aneta and Marijana. Now that she's mad at them, she came to us. What a freak!! And she spent the whole time whispering things to Nicole. And then I hit her on the head with a basketball by ACCIDENT (haha) and the she just got all mad and walked off......."

LMAO. Omg. The whole Rhian battle...I remember this one. I can't believe I let one person piss me off this much...My favorite was when she came back from her vacation and I called her a bitch...and EVEYONE was on my ass for swearing at her like that...you know, grade seven dumb shits. "You used to be nice".

Wednesday, December 31st, 1997

"Today I went skating with Iza and Krystyna. I looked like a fool. My mom made me dress the way she said or she wouldn't let me go. I looked like a big, blue snowball. (talking about how cold it was) But, when I got home, I had a nice cup of raspberry tea. I watched Jerry Springer with my mom and Martin and went to sleep"

....ahahahhahaaaa....Not only was my mom my fashion natzi, but she also watched JS with us. No wonder I'm so messed up!!!lol

Saturday, February 21, 1998

"I wish I could go to Detroit or something but Ursula is there, so I don't want to. In case you haven't noticed, I don't like her very much right now. When I came over to her house, she acted like I wasn't there. She ignored me and did anything just to get me mad. She locked herself and Sylvia in her room and were writing and talking bull about me. So I played with Jessie. She even had the nerve to grab Jessie away from me and say "Come on let's have fun" or something. I just wanted to shake her or grab her by the neck or something. I had this really big urge to tell her off and cuss her out so bad...Later she acted like nothing happened. Like she was my best friend or something. The nerve! Of all the low things to do. THAT NIGHT I PROMISED MYSELF THAT MY LIFE WOULD BECOME 100% URSZULA-FREE. "

The last part of that entry had me laughing for at least five good minutes without any breathing. Holy shit. I had friends???!?!?!?!?!?

Tuesday, July 16, 1998

"Yesterday I called Queenie with my face in front of a fan to make my voice all shakey. It was funnybecause she always falls for prank phone calls"

--no date listed--

" Okay, now, about Ursula (bursts out laughing). She is such a flippin' SOB it's not even funny! She has some seventeen year old "boyfriend" and is trying to rub it in my face. Well, I've got a few things I'd like to say to that. First off, ford her!! (I guess this way my way of saying FUCK HER but I didn't want to swear in case someone read my diary lmao..NERD!)..Second, ahahaha a car? I don't think a stolen hunk of junk with three wheels counts as a car!! Third, cute??? With a name like Fabio and with Ula's well known history of guys she thought were cute, I bet anybody I can find a dog at the pound cuter than that Cartman look-alike. The Rock says Ula's a piece of monkey trash!!"

LMAO. Oh, dear god, you've gotta love the wrestling reference most of all. Seriously, I had friends??

THEN WE START TO SEE THE FORMATION OF THE REAL KASIA!!!!:

Thursday, December 23rd, 1999

"Ahhhhh! Some damn annoying Ricky Martin song on the radio! Crap! It's like 'aye aye aye it's Christmas' and shit. It's demented. Well anyways, it's almost Christmas now. *****'s and **** are coming over tomorrow (I so don't wanna post the real people I was writing this about lmao..). That's so gay. I hate those sons of bitches. Those gay fucks. But, yeah, Merry Christmas! I like this guy Phill, he's friends with Thomas. He's pretty cute and damn funny but he doesn't go to Martin's and I hardly see him. And then there's this guy Simon from grade twelve at my school. Lyptak is such a loser, it's fun making fun of him. And so easy because he's such an ass. A few days ago, he was eating pennies in class. How can ya resist?"

hehehe...I can't believe I'm actually posting this shit on here for all you to read. Moreover, I can't believe I WROTE this shit. What fucking planet was I on before I hit the tenth grade?!? But, oh well. It's hilarious. Hope it made you piss your pants, because it took me a long-assed time to type out.

Wow, I'm really running out of ideas.

kashew Magic Number 13 Job Porn Star Personality Slacker Temperament Steely Sexual If I Have To Likely To Win Time Off For Good Behaviour Me - In A Word Beautiful Colour Brought to you by MemeJack

:::MY FEET!!! MY ACHING FEET!!!:::

Work was hell today. It was soooooo slow so I was stuck with cleaning shelves all day. I mean, they're paying me to do the kind of bullshit I wouldn't do at home even when my parents promised to give me an "allowance". Sure, there were SOME customers that came in, hence the following bitching-spree:

...An open letter to all Drug Basics customers...

Dear fuckers,

Hi. I'm Kasia--you know, the slave-in-green you choose to harass constantly and whose name you ignorantly mispronounce each and every single time, you dumb shits.

Don't get me wrong, I love you all. Sometimes, when I feel like a total loser, I just take a look at our endless customer supply...and I feel so much better about myself. So, apart from being inconceivable ass-whipes, you're actually good for ego-boosting. Thanks. Thanks a lot.

Still, I've got my beef and a blog. That's pretty dangerous, no? And it provides me with the chance to whine. Nanannaaa...eat my shorts!

...Speaking of beef, NO I DON'T FUCKING KNOW WHICH ISLE IT'S IN!!!! My God, if I had a nickel for every dumbass that asked me where they could get their orange juice, SPAM, flowers pots, or BBQ lighters, I'd be a rich rich woman. Hell, forget my pathetic Nike-assed salary, I wish I got paid in something like comission, only I'd get $ for each time I was asked these questions. I'd be rolling in the dough...dough: another item which I can't locate for you. STOP ASKING!!!! Do you go to the flower store and ask for your Prozac? Run out to 711 to buy a car tire? Do you go sock-shopping at The Keg? Seriously..it's a PHARMACY...there's even a big green sign at the front..it's not that fucking complicated!

Speaking of dumb questions...and, again, underlining the fact that you're at a place called DRUG Basics...No, I don't know whether Windex or Lysol will clean your windows better.

Nor do I know which of those candles will burn the fastest.

Or why it costs less at Shopper's.

Oh yeah, and I also don't CARE. Shooooooo! Go away!!

To all customers who decide to come over with/without bratty little children and allow them/yourself to trash the Claritin section I've just spent 20 minutes facing perfectly...FUCK YOU!!!!! When I tell you to take "this" Advil, I do not mean "hey, bastard, why don't you swipe your hand across the shelf, knocking all the goddamn pain killers on the floor". I am also not asking you to pick up eight other types of Advil, walk around with them for forty-five minutes and getting answers about why this and that shape is different from this and that shape.....(oooh ovals!!! oooh circles!!! it doesn't require ANY SKILL fr this type of geometry, stupid!) only to have you leave all eight friggin types on the front counter because you suddenly decide that, dear god, you may still have some left at home.

To all the people who do not understand that the pharmacy runs on a *first come, first serve* basis, GO TO HELL. Yeah, you came AFTER that crippled man and dying old lady, but surrreeeeeeee why don't I go and fill your Viagra first!...Watch me now, I'm going..I'm going...fuck you.

And, speaking of Viagra, if you're gonna come asking for it...LEARN ENGLISH FIRST. I do not enjoy talking about sex with you, perv, especially not in French.

Oh!! And pervs..*shivers*...How I loathe thee. No, you cannot have my number, especially while you're there with your two kids picking up meds for your WIFE. Ughhhh...No you cannot call and ask for my schedule....No you cannot tell your old-assed friends about me...Goddamn you! I don't take tips!

To all those buying condoms: You're hilarious. I wish there was more of you. I love the way you stare at your shoes when you come over with the goods, refusing to make any sort of eye contact out of shame. It makes me chuckle when you toss the money on the counter and run off without waiting for your change. (Hurry!!!! Hurry!!! It's important!! She's waiting!!) And it absolutely makes my day when I come over to refill the condom-rack, order some more Canesten, or check the expiry on the brand new douche, and you see me and run away. Or walk really really fast. Why are you so ashamed? You're getting laid. I'm not.

Oh, and to the lovely people who come returning shit. First off, you need a receipt. Don't come in with a broken bottle of Jamieson Vitamin C, claiming you bought it two seconds ago and wanting your money back. I've been working all day. You did not just buy it. Shut up.

DO NOT, I reapeat, DO NOT bring back an opened pregnancy test, showing me the stick you pissed on, and demanding a refund because you did not get the results you were *expecting*. Ugghhh...gross!! No amount of soap and Purell made me feel clean for a week after that. *shivers*

There's lots more of you out there, but I'm just too damn tired to list you all. To be continued at a time when the screen isn't a sack of blur...

With everlasting love and devotion,

Kashew

:::IT'S RED DAY!!!:::

So, yah, I'm back from good ol' Wonderfreakin'land. The plan was to go and enjoy some sun and water, considering that most people would be at the Stones concert in TO.

Wrongo'.

Got there at about noon to find few parking spaces and a shitload of people stampeding over one another to make it to the wave pool. Which, btw, has specifc guidelines and regulations which must be followed...

1. Swim around like a dumbshit until you hear the horn sound.
2. Scream..aaarraagghhh!!! And jump with excitement.
3. Proceed to jump more, repeatedly, and like a bigger dumbshit, as each wave attacks.
Where do these kids come from?

Speaking of kids...

Are you tired of those little fuckers running around the place? Always grabbing onto or swingining into strangers on the street? Causing trouble? Stressing you out and causing you to smoke, drink, and beat your spouse? Well, stress no more!!! Because The Child Leash 2000 is here! That's right, folks! It may look like an ordinary swing straddle with an attached leather strap, but once you get that little bastard inside, his/her ass is yours. Order now and we'll throw in a beating cane at absolutely no extra charge!!...

Holy shit. Seen THREE KIDS today on LEASHES. I mean, literally, their parents had them in this thing that looked like a swing...THREE!!! Is this becoming some sort of trend? Treating kids like dogs, you sick sick assholes? I don't care how abnoxious the brat can be, you don't put them on a friggin' leash. These things are legal? My God!........

It was funny tho.

I now have a red sunburn to match my red dress, flip-flops, bag, and blanket. I didn't even realize I was so colour co-ordinated till it was pointed out!!..What happened to the big striped pants from grade eight or those giant maternity-looking overalls I wore back in grade four? The infamous green and blue shorts??..I feel like a traitor to my POlishness and fashion ignorance. *sobs*

I got one of them henna tattoos. It's the chinese symbol for "promise" and is located between the back of my right shoulder and middle-back. (??). I like it, and the meaning behind it shall remain *completely top secret*, though the actual peeling of it hurt a bit. Looked kinda like charcoal...

I am now seriously considering getting a tattoo. I've wanted one for the longest time but have been too chicken shit to get it done...partly due to the pain process and partly because my parents would go crazy. But, what the hell? I'm allowed.

I wouldn't get anything stupid or in a spot which couldn't be covered up for "serious clothing" occasions and well, for when I'm all old and saggy. Thinkin' my looow back or somewhere near my right hip. It can be covered easily and all that shit...why not?

I'd definitely want to get another chinese symbol done, though not "promise", because I don't want anything that I might regret having branded on me when I'm 50. Or next month, for all I know. (Though that sounds soooo bad and I'm sorry...)

I've been looking into it, actually...at the different designs and meanings. I like: beautiful (has a meaning to me which won't ever change, and NO it's not some sort of arrogant self-characterization, it refers to life and shit), forever (kinda shit you'd get tattooed after marriage..it's cute, in a way, but would NOT be getting it done right now so it's out), blessed (it's positive and just..well...awesome), enigma, and laugh (both words describe me pretty well)..

So, yeah. I'm still chicken when it comes to the pain of having a kajillion needles poked into my skin. We'll see what happens though..

*dun dun duuuun* Stay tuned.

WHOOPDIE-DOOOoooo...

Waiting for *the master of lateness* to come and pick me up for Wonderland. muahaha...got nothing better to do that to blog at the moment..(yes, I realize this is pathetic).

I wanna spend the whole day at the water park. I mean, summer's half-over and I've been swimming..*counts on fingers...carry the one*...maybe five times in total? That's disgusting. Of course, by "swimming" I mean..going somewhere near the water..or being IN the water and tredding like a dumbass and not being able to learn to swim, or being thrown into water and almost drowning only to be rescued and teased and be given various unmentionable nicknames as result. It was all in good fun, I guess...But here I am, getting off topic again.

Where was I?

Oh, yes. The water park. Haven't been there since last year when I usually went with Iza and my lovely cousin. I swear to God, that visor still haunts me at night. Off topic again.

Oh, yes, I remember.

Nah, forget it.

I guess I'm pretty crippled for someone who's nineteen. I can't swim or drive--two things I should have learned a long assed time ago. Well it's not that I CAN'T swim, cause I can swim from one end of the pool to the other, but I have my phobia of drowning so....pass the floaties. They're pretty goddamn sexy,too.

Wanna know my other phobias? Sure ya do.

Heights.
Bugs (I don't care HOW small they are, it's always the innocent-looking ones that are most viscious)
Basements (I've watched too many horror flicks)

Went to good ol' TD yesterday to sign up for a student line of credit. The banker-girl lives on my street, it's kind of cool. Planning on actually getting a car sometime this school year (I will learn to drive, damnit...*crosses fingers*..) so that I don't have to commute for 4 hours a day. Shitty indeed.

Hmm..also went shopping with Erna. I've decided that I hate friggin UB. What the hell is the concept behind that store? Sluts & Eating Disorders United?? I swear, try to find me a pair of jeans that isn't skin tight or a top that required more material than a glove. Arrghhh...*damn you*...

Look at me talking about shopping like a girly girl...teehee..*hangs head in shame*..

Today's my last day off in my 3-day middle-week weekend. If I said that I was productive during this time, I'd be a lying fucker.

So what the hell: I've been productive.

Listening to 103.5 at the moment. They're playing some really gay mix of a few "summery" songs. If I wasn't so lazy, I'd get up and slam the radio against the wall....Well, or at least change the station.

I need to write at least one good article this summer and try to get it published. It will be my goal...*smirks*..but, seriously, it will be. What to write about though? I'm thinkin this whole university stuff...since it would be kind of current (fall) and you know how friggin picky the Toronto Star peolple are. Or, if you don't, let me assure you: THEY ARE FUCKING PICKY. I think the Kasia rejection count is now at 3 or 4. My first article was "too offensive" and the others just weren't good enough I guess? Funny how they still got published in other places but whatever.

I found all my phone cards yesterday. You know, the ones stashed away here and there..over the past two years. Fifty-six of em, to be exact, at about $5 each. You do the math.

On that bright note, I'm off to grab a drink. Cheerio!

About Me: "I am 5'7' and lookin' to partay..i used to have an afro but i cut it off and donated it to locks of love.....awwww!! do me!" lmao,I wanna meet the person with that blog.

Went to see "28 Days Later". It sucked so bad, I wanted to stab straws into my eyeballs...and I didn't even get a drink. Thanks, Iza. lol.

I was asked to show ID to prove that I am 18...TWICE. WTF?! How old do I look? I've been told I look fifteen two times this year, too. 15!!!...I guess it might be because I refuse to drench my face with caked-on lipstick, eyeshadow and all that other animal-tested, fake goodness. Argh, fuckers. I'm nineteen though and it's funny that I can get into bars but not an AA movie.

I can drink, drive, smoke, and serve in the army...but seeing naked ass on screen would REALLY corrupt me.

Gotta love that.

THERE'S AN EYELASH ON THE SCREEN. HOW DID IT GET THERE? WHOSE EYELASH IS IT? I WANT ANSWERS, MY DEAR, ANSWERS!!!

So it's finally Monday. Now, isn't that something to be thrilled about? Weeeee!..*groans*..Usually, I hate mondays, but this Monday is different. Why, you ask?

Because I don't work this Monday. Not only that, but it is followed by not having to work on Tuesday and Wednesday also. Three days off!! In a row!! Holy shit!! Hell has frozen over and the Leafs have won the Stanley Cup.

I've signed up for ACTUAL driving lessons. Certified and all that fanciness...I figured it's a lot cheaper in the end..since I get 10 hours of driving time plus the in-class...the ten hours alone would have cost me $500 with the girl I'm taking lessons with now, so....I'm selling out. Today will be my last lesson with her *tear* She doesn't know it yet...I was thinking of saying something along the lines of:

"I think I'm good to go now. My driving is perfect so I won't be needing your lessons anymore" just to see her break out in laughter or total confusion. I've still got a LONG way to go...Boy oh boy do I suck!!!

Anyways, on to some more random craziness from my life...

Yesterday a customer yelled at me at work. It was hilarious. I asked a man in a baseball cap and baggy clothing "Do you need any help, sir?" only to find that I was speaking to a woman. I got a whole lecture about gender-differentiation and being rude. I was smirking the whole time, waiting until...she...left to laugh my ass off. Dude, you looked like a dude. Sorry.

Justin's going to Italy for a month; he's leaving on Saturday. He's gonna come back using words like "ciao" and "pizza" and I'll be confused. I'm really gonna miss him. Bring me back some pasta sauce, monkey!

Going to see 28 Days Later with Dana and whoever else we call up tonight. It's something to do I guess and I haven't seen this girl in forever. Everyone's too busy with work and getting set up for September these days...

Okay, off to driving I go. Weee!